The battle to secure the rights to supply the music for the contestants' headphones on All Star Mr & Mrs has been won by Suffolk-based extreme metal outfit, Cradle of Filth.
"We need the contestants to wear headphones to make sure they don't overhear their partner's answers," explained Peter Wright, head of Celador Productions, the company behind the show. "The music we pumped in previously just made everyone feel relaxed and confident, but we now realise that makes for boring television. People like to see the contestants nervous and stressed out, and we reckon a bit of "The Filth's" back catalogue is just the thing to scare the shit out of those celebrity bastards."
The band, whose stage shows include dwarves, angle grinders and copious amounts of blood, are reported to be "over the mid-winter, icy, sickle moon" after securing the contract. "It really is a big step forward in the acceptance of extreme metal into the mainstream," said lead vocalist, Dani Filth. "Now we can apply to the BBC to have our "Jesus Is A Cunt" t-shirts worn by all the contestants on next year's Total Wipeout."
Filming on the latest series of All Star Mr & Mrs began yesterday and the producers indicate that the new music has already had the desired effect. Newlyweds Cat Deely and Patrick Kielty were the first contestants, with early reports indicating that Deely broke down in tears and required counselling after listening to the song, "I Raped The Virgin Mary And Hung The Bastard Christ." Meanwhile, Kielty, who was mistakenly played the song, "Satanic Mantra" backwards, is currently being sought by the police after carving an upside down pentagram in his chest, drawing mysterious sigils on the floor and trying to burn down the studio.