Embarrassed executives at Broadcasting house have finally admitted that they were aware of the ‘inappropriate behaviour’ of one of their most enduring DJs. But with millions of listeners now coming forward to talk of the trauma they suffered, whistleblower Charles Hegsworth has revealed that bosses were aware that Chris Moyles was ‘a talentless shit’.
“There were rumours, but no-one took them very seriously”, claims Hegsworth. “The chiefs upstairs simply refused to listen to Radio 1. But when the head of puerile entertainment read a review in the Metro, he tried to cover it up, using a coffee cup, and the remains of his bacon sandwich.”
Moyles was known to surround himself with a childish posse, who would egg him on to commit unspeakable acting up. It was from a caravan in Norfolk that the most harrowing story emerged. “My parents took me there willingly, I was only 18”, claimed Samantha Rhodes. “But instinctively, I knew I was too old for this shit. With no ear defenders and a broken zip on my sleeping bag, I had no choice but to lie back and endure the whole tawdry breakfast show.”
Rhodes believes no-one past the age of puberty should have been exposed to Chris Moyles. She claims the BBC ought to have sacked him when they had the chance, or handed him over to authorities at Channel 5 to be kept in a solitary chat show. “It’s too late now though”, sighed Rhodes, barely holding back the tears. “By resigning, he’s already cheated justice.”