Much Loved TV star Piers Morgan is flying out to pay a morale boosting visit to UK troops stationed in Helmand Province, Afghanistan. Army Generals and MOD officials have ensured that such a high profile trip will not attract unwanted attention from insurgents.
The itinerary will see the Britain's Got Talent Judge land at 07:30am at the air strip 28 miles North of camp bastion before waiting, alone, for an hour until the lightly armed X-86J land rover picks him up to drive along the scenic Baji Bast Pass, a tight ravine path surrounded on both sides by high rocky outposts and many dense bushes which are often used as excellent cover by Taliban fighters.
The X-86J is a vehicle barely used by the modern army due to the incredibly poor protection offered to the left hand passenger seat, which Mr Morgan will occupy. The army are hoping very much that this information does not reach the wrong hands.
"We want to make it as clear as we can that Piers is one of our countries most highly regarded statesmen" Major General Gordon Messenger announced today, "and if he were to come to any harm, perhaps during the unscheduled stretching breaks, scheduled for 10:15 to 10:45 at grid reference 12-65-168-1548, then the morale of our brave troops would be shattered and we would have no choice but to surrender. I pray to God that this information is not used against us by our bitter enemies."
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Piers Morgan is On Route to Visit UK Forces in Afghanistan
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thisisall1word
offlineMemberPosted 3 years ago # -
thisisall1word
offlineMemberAh - a quick google search of the archives reveals that there's been a similar story;
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=846 - from AdrianJ - obv I am not alone in linking Morgan to the Taliban and some sort of fantasy of the odious ones demise. (didn't remember yr earlier post AJ - sry)Although at least the man knows he is not liked - saw him quoting the joke on Britain's got Talent: Why do people take an instant dislike to Piers Morgan? To Save Time. - so in some way his self-awareness of his own unlike-ability should count for him. It does not. He's weirdly proud of this and therefore it only makes things worse.
Posted 3 years ago #
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