Thousands of young men have decided to throw away their normal reserved attitude and admit that they are a wanker by joining in the wanker's parade in Belfast today.
The wanker's parade is held every year. It is open to all religions, but participants are asked the question "Is it important you attend this parade?" before they are permitted to join. Thousands join every year, for no other reason than that their parents and their parents' parents did. Some are embarrassed to be wankers, but they continue anyway.
It had been hoped that the wanker's parade could be phased out gradually, but regular wankers are ensuring that it continues as long as they want it to. What a bunch of wankers!