Ancient writings spoke of a party that would remove tuition fees, end wasteful military spending and demand proportional representation but newly discovered texts suggest that the Liberal Democrat party of Yore may have been a myth.
The supposed leader Nick Clegg, who literally swept into power in 2010 by sweeping David Cameron’s floors on the weekend, is now thought to be a genetic construct grown from the cells of the people of Bath. With no backbone and an ‘I cry after sex’ face he would be the perfect fall guy whenever one of George Osborne’s zany get rich quick schemes failed.
“In a way we shouldn’t be surprised,” said some guy with hindsight. “Who had ever heard of them before 2010? A very old scroll called ‘The Sun’ once referenced Clegg as being a Nazi but after failing to translate the rest of the paper, which included words like ‘Boffin’ and ‘Sexpert.’ we assumed it was rubbish.”
When questioned on the matter Nick Clegg argued, “Anyone who thinks we don’t exist are sadly mythtaken.” After which he hammered out a drum beat before slamming a symbol.