Abductions by ‘Type 1’ aliens or ‘greys’ are becoming increasingly pervy, according to an eye witness. No longer satisfied with the data garnered from a simple anal probe, many are thought to be dabbling in increasingly bizarre fetishism.
Brady Shore claims to have been abducted by sex aliens multiple times, sometimes by one, but often by a group. The first encounter of the rude kind happened during a late-night walk from a bar on the outskirts of Clear Lake, Indiana. He was abducted, dressed in rubber and forced to gimp by his masters.
“You hear a lot about folks going missing round these parts”, claimed Shore. “My wife’s always reading out reports from the papers, and chuckling. Seems it ain’t safe for regular folk to walk alone late at night, you never know when you might get whipped off, or smeared all over in Jello.”
Shore can only remember sketchy details from many of his abductions, but he recalls that the interior of the ‘spaceship’ shares some similarities with a mid-90s RV that his wife's cousin lives in. “Captain’s chairs, a mini-fridge and a fold-out bed with all straps on, them aliens is nearly as advanced as they are depraved”, said Shore. Despite being constructed from materials well beyond Shore’s comprehension, he notes that their craft ‘smelled like patchouli oil, fried chicken and chipboard’.
Shore claims to have learned a little about his tormentors, and thinks there may be several sub-species. “I overheard one say they came, like, in 50 shades”, claimed Shore. “They sure do giggle a lot too. ‘Specially when I beg for release.”
Unfortunately, researchers believe that the more sordid details of the abductions may never come to light, as Shore is regularly subjected to an ‘alien mind wipe’. “I done be layin’ there, blindfolded and trying to guess at our altitude, when all of a sudden, my head gets enveloped by two great mounds of a flesh-like substance”, explained Shore. “After that, everything goes blank, and a bit sticky. Last time I heard a female voice saying ‘I was out of this world’, I think that was supposed to scare me into doing what they wanted.”
Eventually the aliens tire of experimenting on Shore, manage to restart the spaceship and drop him off at a bus stop. “It’s the darnedest thing, but I lose all sense of how long I’m ‘up there’”, said Shore. “My wife reckons it’s normally 2 or 3 hours. She says if I want to avoid being captured again, I should leave the bar around 10.15 next Tuesday, wearing suspenders, a latex thong and a gas mask.”