A Lithuanian geneticist today released a paper revealing that she believes she may have finally nailed down the so-called 'Lazy Gene,' and that there is a distinct possibility that within a single generation, or maybe more generations, depending on the sense of urgency, a vaccine may be made available which would effectively counteract the condition.
The WHO have stated that 'Laziness' poses a greater threat to the future of mankind than plagues of locusts, killer bees, mobility scooters, saturated fats, Adele, the BBC, and Simon Cowell combined. And rolled into one. Together.
Laziness is characterised by a number of symptoms, including: excessive devotion to a laptop, heavy drinking, the inability to be able to hoist one's saggy arse away from the nearest sofa, the lack of desire to put shelves up, keeping unsocial hours and the inability to find gainful employment. Even flipping pizzas.
In severe cases, it has been recorded that 'Serial Lazyarses' can become so embroiled in their own idleness that they resort to challenging able bodied, non-lazy people to duels at dawn, or fights in pub car parks in internet forums, and flatly refuse to put the bins out, or clean up after themselves, following excessive events of salivating - otherwise known as 'foaming at the mouth.'
Whilst ordering a meat feast pizza online from Duminoes, and three six packs of Special Brew from Trashco's online delivery service.
"I could put a stop to laziness at a stroke," said Professor Vitalia Konchesky, of the University of Vilnius. "But to be honest, I'm not sure I can be arsed."