Defensive stalwart John Terry confirmed this week that he would retire from international football to take up a shock new role as UN special envoy to Syria telling reporters it was "untenable" for him to continue his humanitarian work whilst playing international football not quite at the highest level.
Terry, who unexpectedly appeared at the news conference in the uniform of a 1940s US four star general, said he was looking forward to "getting stuck in and giving 110% to sorting out all the Syria problems and all that."
He was however forced to deny that his initial project plan for the mission was to call both sides in the bloody and protracted conflict f***ing arab c***s, claiming that he was only repeating something he thought the UK ambassador to the UN had said.
Reacting to criticism of the move, UN Secretary General Ban Kyi-Moon said "If there is one thing that can unite the brutal henchmen of the dictator Assad and the fanatical revenge merchants of the opposition militia, it is a feeling of moral superiority over John Terry."
It is thought that President Assad's wife Asma has been flown out of the country as a precaution.