A run-in between Liberal Democrat conference delegates and local Guardian readers in Brighton has left two people sad and dozens very upset. Local juggler Adrian Newmanly was rushed to a local alternative healthcare centre and is said to be fighting for his short-term happiness.
“It was awful,” said local resident Rosie. “I was on my way to Infinity Foods to stock up on different types of tea and some unbleached women’s products, when I saw two Guardian readers arguing with a group of Lib-Dem delegates. The delegates were speaking very loudly and both of the Guardian readers were hyperventilating.
The incident is believed to have started when a female delegate was walking along the seafront with her head in her hands when she strayed onto one of Brighton’s most notorious passive-aggressive hotspots: the beachfront cycle path. She was then almost struck by a Guardian reader on a recumbent bicycle.
A PCSO who arrived on the scene first, said: “What? I am exhausted. I’ve just walked all the way from Churchill Square. What conference?”
Nick Clegg has pledged to apologise to the cyclist at some point in the future.