Muslims across the Middle East were in uproar yesterday, after a leaked BBC documentary revealed 90% of the Uk population strongly agree with the statement "Muslims are coming across as a bit flag-burny and tetchy at the moment". 'We are sick of being portrayed as a bunch of fire hungry, misguided extremists' screamed a student in Cairo as he put down his flaming Stars and Stripes to take a sip of mint tea. 'We will deliver that message to the Belgian Broadcasting Corporation personally, once we've stormed their office in the heart of the German embassy compound'.
Meanwhile in London a planned march to show the east that western citizens aren't "just a bunch of lazy overweight tv-watching fast-food munchers who couldn't give a shit about the rest of the world" had to be cancelled when it transpired the start time clashed with both happy hour at Dominos pizza, and a repeat showing of a classic David-Dickinson-era Bargain Hunt episode from 2004 on the Challenge channel. The quest for mutual incomprehension continues.
