Secretary of State for Health, Jeremy Hunt, has announced plans ‘to fill the Watford Gap with a giant false tooth’, setting aside £26 million of the NHS budget for the project. Conceptual cavity artist Antonioni Chomsky, who specialises in massive fillings, has been awarded the contract and will be working in partnership with local denture manufacturers Dentures-R-Us (Watford Gap) Ltd, who previously supplied the Prince of Wales with a gold crown.
Chairman of the Board of Trade in Watford, Peter Hassel, welcomed the project. ‘Naturally, I’m delighted that a local firm has been asked to make the enormous denture, which will, in the short-term at least, create new jobs and bring a welcome boost to the dental healthcare sector. It’s just unfortunate that the denture factory is located right in the gap they’re going to fill, but I understand they already have plans to relocate to a new factory, in Goring.’
Jeremy Hunt said the project was ‘another stunning example of British ingenuity, one which will inspire a whole generation to check for cavities’ but was drowned out by local students chanting ‘Every year’s a gap year in Watford.’