There was mayhem in Toytown as a horse, previously described as of good breeding and benign character, galloped out of his stable after the stable door had been left ajar. The horse headed straight for the centre of Toytown where it knocked over a large bag containing several cats, who immediately scattered in all directions, scaring a large flock of pigeons.
Some of the pigeons headed straight for a tree branch, breaking it and causing a cradle containing an infant to fall to the ground. Other pigeons headed straight for a large egg-shaped man who was peaceably sitting on his favourite wall watching the world go by. Such was the violence of their approach that it caused Mr H. Dumpty, a well-known local character, to fall and fracture into several pieces. Reports from the "Kings Horses and King's Men Hospital" are that Mr Dumpty is in a critical condition.
A short while later the horse was seen careering into a sewage pipe, causing the pipe to burst its contents into a local stream where the King was fishing, causing his boat to rock and losing both of his oars in the process. "I then realised I was in this dirty brown stream and had no means of propulsion", said the King.
The Mayor of Toytown has ordered all stable doors to be closed immediately but was shouted down by the townspeople as "not living in the real world".
In other news, a court in Paris has decided to block publication of topless photographs of the Duchess of Cambridge.