Nick Clegg today defended himself against suggestions that his role in government has diminished. He revealed to the world's press, or at least to two journalists who had wandered into the wrong room on their way to a briefing at the treasury, that he had been appointed Milk Monitor to the Cabinet.
"David, sorry, Mr Cameron" Nick corrected himself with an involuntary flinch, "called me into his office and announced the appointment to me yesterday. I knew it was important because I heard him call Boris and insist he be there for the ceremony." Sources inside number 10 are reported to have overheard him say "You can't miss this Boris, it's going to be huge"."
Nick said the ceremony itself was actually quite moving and at several points David and Boris were biting their bottom lips and actually had tears running down their faces.
"David even had to leave the room a couple of times. Especially when I stood in the "ancient milk pail of righteousness" and delivered my oath." said Nick.
He strenuously denied suggestions that this was a position that had been made up to make him feel important. "Look," he said "I've got a badge and everything!"
With a hat tip to Hooch