A hillarious thow true autobiography of Newsbiscuit founder John O Farrels early years,written by yes by me, Lobstoper Rampa aka John O Farrel.A fact full no holds barred of how I was kidnapped from Ireland on the way to Church at the age of three,and ended up in China,only to escape my kidnappers whilst they wherent looking with the help of two angelic catholic ninja spirit beings.From that day I new I was special and God had orcastrated my kidnapping all along.From China I crawled all the way in my nappy to Tibet,there I was taken in by the young Dalai Lama,had my name changed to Lobstoper Rampa and became a lama at the grand old age of four and three months.Trained in the art of kung fu over the next few years I became a master of meditation,and learnt how to fly,met yetis and had a hole drilled in my forehead to open my third eye.Why was this last thing done?why would someone drill a hole in my head,becouse the Dalai Lama had foreseen the chinese invasion of Tibet thats why, and my third eye would give me the power to read minds of coarse,for when the Dalai Lama left me behind as a spy while he escaped to safety.Amougst other incredible but true things in my new book (and there are many)are how as a humble Lobstoper Rampa with three eyes,I flew planes for the Chinese in WW2,spent time in a Japanese POW camp run by the evil Villy Vutlins,survived the full impact of the atom bomb dropped on Hiroshima due to my magical powers.Was kidnapped by the same people as before but this time taken back to Ireland,where I was tortured but escaped again in a luxury car,and then finally I died.Yes I wrote my own death into my autobiography while I was still alive and walking about.Well no acturlly I only partly died until I wrote my secound autobigraphy (only £17.99 and due out soon)called My Head Exploded.Please buy my book The Magic Eyeball,buy it twice even,only £16.99 at all good book stores.
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The Magic Eyeball,by John OFarrell.
(13 posts) (12 voices)
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Posted 8 months ago #
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Couldn't get past the first line.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Perhaps it would be better in English?
Posted 8 months ago # -
Hi joan, how's things?
Posted 8 months ago # -
Why is it that one of the first signs of schizophrenia is the inability to paragraph?
Posted 8 months ago # -
WTF is this?
Posted 8 months ago # -
I got to line 3. What's the prize?
Posted 8 months ago # -
I got to sentance 3, which is about line 12
Posted 8 months ago # -
The dangers of posting in a semi-conscious state ?
Might have to find a place for 'orcastrated' though - something unpleasant done to whales to prevent humping ? could be my word of the week
Posted 8 months ago # -
Wattever it is your on I hope their's an auntydope.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Oh, and welcome, Lobstoper
Posted 8 months ago # -
I met Lobstoper Rampa in Clapham in the late 70s, dont be fooled about what he says in his book,one look at his masssive webbed feet and youll no what Im talking about.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Cute, but nowhere near as batfuck crazy as the original Kazytc.
Posted 8 months ago #
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