Fresh controversy has erupted in the Middle East with news that English football supporters have been brought in as consultants to help Muslim rioters develop better chants to use while protesting outside embassies or burning effigies.
“To be honest, it was low hanging fruit” said West Ham supporters club official Dan Richards. “I mean ‘Death to America’ is snappy and to the point, but you get more bang for your bucks with knob jokes. Even Millwall supporters have moved on from the ‘die, die, die’ chant.”
Veteran rioter Abdul Ahmed was very happy with the collaboration with like-minded fanatics: “The new material cracks me up – I don’t know why we hadn’t thought of using the combination of comedy and sexual suggestiveness before. ‘O-ba-ma is a wanker’ and ‘I’m forever blowing up infidels’ are my favourites, but I also like ‘When the Mullahs come marching in’ and ‘Cameron takes it up the arse.’”
Ahmed admits there were some teething problems in getting used to the new chants: “Unfortunately, when one of our West Ham brothers chanted ‘Does your boyfriend know you’re here’, I instinctively cut his head off. But there were no hard feelings – apparently he had been secretly supporting Man City.”
American and Britain officials are said to unconcerned about any long term effect from the West Ham training. “Sure the Muslim rioters might have a good spell for a while due to the ‘honeymoon effect’" said British Foreign Affairs spokesman Alan Heaton. “But the crowded rioting fixture list over the Christmas period will take its toll, and they will be relegated to obscurity come next May.”