Although MPs David Cameron and George Osborne like to 'Stay in shape' they have all expressed their delight at winning the parent's races at the exclusive private schools attended by their children.
'There's always a bit of jocular banter just before the 100m race starts' said Cameron 'So the parents who said I was a toffee-nosed twat who doesn't know how life really works we just having a bit of a joke. Weren't they?'
'Anyway after the first 10m I way well ahead, and I finished first by over 50m, with the other 76 parents finishing in a great big pack, it just goes to show how fit I am and they could learn a lot from me if they had been able to stay in touch - just like I do - and hadn't spent much of the race chattering between themselves. Gove would have given them detention and denied them access to their Xbox.'
George Osborne's victory at the exclusive Cheshire school attend by his children was slightly marred by him being the only competitor. 'Apparantly the other parents were really ill - again - and couldn't make it and were going elsewhere for a massive recuperation event. But I managed to finish the 100m dash in under 30 seconds and secured yet another victory and my 10th as the only competitor. A bit like my victory in saving the UK economy really.'
The greatest shock came from the incredible victories of Eric Pickles who won the 100m, 200m, 400m, 400m hurdles, 1,500m, high jump, long jump, 3,000m, 5,000m, 10,000m and marathon at his children's school, all in highly competitive fields. Eric thanked those who contributed to his success including his wife and Ahmed's Take-Out for their free supply of 25Kg of their particularly spicy onion bhargies in his hometown of Keighley in Yorkshire.'
Unfortunately Pickle's big day was ruined by an unfortunate environmental incident which resulted in all the other parents' staff and children receiving hospital treatment following the inhalation of noxious gasses from an unknown source. Despite the incident Pickles was delighted with the prize later awarded to him saying 'I've never won any underpants with carbon in them. Thank you very much.'