A sensational new survey out today reveals 87% of people around the World are fed up with the obscene amount of press coverage the British Royal family receives.
“It makes you wonder if there would be a press at all if the Royal family did not exist.” said Dave Titbum from Essex.
Mr Titbum, who has made millions selling cheap Royal memorabilia tat to stupid gullible people on Ebay continued: “They are just a bunch of scrounging freeloaders who seem to spend all their time holidaying around the World and taking their clothes off at the taxpayer’s expense – and so is the Royal family. Why can’t this money be put to better use getting the economy going? Germany and France don’t have a Royal family and yet their economies and tourist industries seem to be doing all right. If the Royal family was not there, stories about privacy and press intrusion would drop by about 90%, we would live in a far fairer and more productive society and the money currently wasted on those chocolate teapots could be put to much better use.”
Asked what he thinks about the topless photos of Kate Middleton, Mr Titbum said: “Let’s just say the Royal couple make a nice pair. I prefer them a bit bigger though.
Daisy Dimsdale, an unemployed prostitute from Birmingham said: “I totally disagree with Mr Titburn, he is just jealous of the Queen’s lovely smile. I’m sure every girl would like to be a fairytale princess, it’s much better than being a WAG slag. I will be buying lots of Mr Titburn’s products from now on though.”