Prince Harry is the toast of the Coalition forces after almost single-handedly repelling Taleban fighters in Afghanistan. Apparently the Talaban had already breached the outer perimeter fence and were on the verge of getting into Camp Bastion. However they reckoned without Prince Harry who was enjoying an early morning stroll in the buff.
The sight of Prince Harry’s ginger pubic hairs caused seasoned Taleban fighters to recoil in horror. Some fighters activated their bomb vests to radically erase the memory, while others surrendered and then pleaded to be taken to Guantanamo Bay for deprogramming. The remainder scattered shouting “Allah is a cruel bastard”.
The Taleban High Command issued a statement protesting the Coalition's deployment of weapons grade ginger pubes which left the fighters blind. "It's just not cricket" said spokesman Abdul Rahmani. "Well there was balls and something resembling a stump, but the pitch was bright orange and sticky and hadn't been mown for weeks. No one should be forced to see that, excepting Sun readers."
Amazingly, Prince Harry seemed unaware of the critical role he played in defending the base. He completely rejected reports of him beating off the Taleban, saying that he was merely going for a piss and had to do prolonged shaking afterwards.