Examination boards have long been accused of “dumbing down” their tests, making them too easy to pass. This has resulted in a situation where over half of all students are awarded the top A grade, making it difficult for universities and employers to identify the best students.
The exam boards have strongly refuted these allocations, but have found it increasingly difficult to defend their position. Last week’s damaging headlines, where a student suffering from extreme nerves just vomited on her media studies paper and was still awarded an A grade, has brought things to a head.
In an attempt to regain the initiative, Nigel Tufnel, spokesmen for the United Examination Board, today announced a new top grade, making the following statement.
“The UEB has decided to lead the way in resolving this issue. A grade of A has traditionally been the top grade in examinations, but due to the unequivocal increase in mental aptitude within today’s youth, this grade is clearly not sufficient any more. Other exam boards have been stymied by the fact that the letter A is first in the alphabet and have tried to address this issue with A*, A** and A*** grades, but this is clearly unsatisfactory.”
“The UEB is proud to announce that we will uniquely identify the hyper-intelligent amongst the mere geniuses, with the introduction of a new top grade. This new grade will be called “Caps Lock” on the basis that it precedes A.”
When asked why they didn’t decide to make the exams harder and make an A grade just harder achieve, Tufnel looked bemused and replied, “. . . but we have Caps Lock”