Buckingham Palace claimed today that the age of huge bosoms is finished, after the Duchess of Cambridge stormed the world of fashion with a sensational 'New Look'.
Miss Middleton, who proudly got 'them' out during a recent holiday in Provence, has previously been reticent to produce her 'puppies' on the world stage. But following her mega hit with the 'Nude Shoe' look - and the triumph of Pippa's perfect bottom - it's believed she thought the time was ripe to launch a final and major assault on French haute couture.
“The tectonic plates of world fashion have finally shifted,” admitted a tearful Katie Price to a throng of shocked journalists. “Today is the dawn of the Age of Middleton,” she announced. “From this time on, small yet perfectly formed tits will lead the way down our international catwalks.”
By mid-morning, Harley Street cosmetic surgeons were reporting record bookings as shocked Page 3 girls desperately queued for urgent breast reduction operations.
News In Briefs star, Daphne from Harrow (46-22-36) told how she'd taken a pre-breakfast call from renowned Sun Picture Editor, Harry Everest, telling her not to bother turning up for work.
“It's like the sun's finally gone down over Whopping,” she moaned.