The date September 12th 2012 will be marked in every football fans diary throughout the land. For decades we have looked on with envy as countries like Spain, Portugal and Brazil churn out technically gifted superstars that capture the imagine while we cheer on work man like bums who can’t make three passes between. Well, no more, today marked the birth of Gene Tyler the man many experts are already calling the new Cristiano Ronaldo.
Present for the birth was Doctor Baker who knew he was pulling a future superstar out of his mother’s vagina straight away. ‘His cranium has the propensities of Zidane and the sentiments of a Beckenbauer.’ Jubilant father Jack Tyler was ecstatic, ‘I knew he was going to be good but I was expecting a Luke Chadwick but I got a Lionel Messi.’
Manchester City have emerged as early favourites to sign the , I don’t know, winger. His agent had this to say, ‘No decision has been made yet but my client has told me he is most interested in the project at City.’ Sir Alex Ferguson has bemoaned the lack of value in the market, ‘time was a baby would cost you nothing but now they all have agents and parents sticking the nose in. If these babies don’t get what they want they act like children.’