I'm so sorry for your condition, Gerontius, I hope the Doctor's given you plenty of medicine to help you recover and get back to being normal like us (tongue pressed firmly into cheek)
There's a rather nice phrase around here, you can imagine it being used by middle-aged women gossiping over the fence, with this being mouthed rather than spoken aloud. I don't know how widespread the phrase is:
"He's on the other bus"
And I suppose we can add the phrase "bacon griller" to the world dictionary now.