As thousands hasten to praise the holy works of Sebastian Coe (particularly amongst the lame and crippled), the vatican announced that his widely expected beatification will not actually require that he dies anytime soon. The apostolic constitution Divinus Perfectionis magister generally requires a candidate who's 'shown signs of holiness' to have been dead for 5 years. 'Due to unprecedented spiritual fervour and some political representations, we're prepared to overlook that he's still alive' says Cardinal Tomaz Rule of the vatican's Congregation of the Causes of Saints (COCS). It's widely expected that Lord Coe will become Saint Sebastian, patron saint of organisation.
Pax Vobiscum
