As the nations Olympic hangover recedes, one question remains and demands to be answered. Where was the flood of international prostitutes promised by the organising committee?
In the months leading up to the sports extravaganza, tantalising tales were emerging from past Olympics and World Cups of the bevy of buyable beauties and that would descend on the capital to offer their own globally unique and enterprising technical skills to help games goers cope with the tension of under performance in the medals table. One east end taxi driver said " we were all geared up for it, the Latvians, the Romanians, even Saudi Arabia promised to send a couple, I've invested a fortune in Rosetta Stone tapes, for what, NUFFINK, thats what".
One theory put forward by Professor Reginald Ringbinder, a fellow of the five pound fellatio society is that the advance party of pimps and prozzies sent by many countries during the Queens Jubilee were laid low with urinary tract infections after standing out on street corners in the rain for 18 hours.
A LOCOG spokesman has said that despite constant promises given that the numbers being provided were well within their means, the international sexlympic committee failed to deliver, "we have only left a fraction of the amount due to be paid on the dressing table" a senior LOCOG insider claimed yesterday. A government source that has asked to remain anonymous has stated that within the corridors of power, many members of parliament are equally frustrated " the feeling is we did everything we could for them, relaxing border controls, Olympic kerb crawling lanes, we even went as far as gagging the press. You have to feel for them, it was about the only hope some of them had of a good gobble" Business leaders have been equally scathing " Its a disaster" said one, "we hoped the services provided by east Eurpoean blondes and tiny tittied Thais would have distracted George Osbourne long enough to spark an economic recovery".
Its all so different from the last time London held the Games, one Olympic veteran from 1948 reminisced " we could get a tug job on the top deck of a bus for half a banana in those days". Whatever went wrong, Rio have taken note, promising a bonanza of blow jobs in 2016. "from Brazilian girls and boys alike"
London 2012, Why did it go so wrong?
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As the nations Olympic hangover recedes, one question remains and demands to be answered. Where was the flood of international prostitutes promised by the organising committee?Posted 9 months ago #
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