Feel the throbbing power of the new penis car from Italian car makers Alpha Maleao,specialy designed to look just like a giant speeding horizontal erect penis,for all us macho car lovers.In bright pink with realistic painted vein design go faster stripes and only three wheels,two gigantic hairy tractor sized rear polished alloy wheels,and a single tiny hardly noticable front wheel under the massive front helmet which hides the throbbing turbo charged V12 engine,giving the impression you realy are in a carbon fibre giant penis.Standing over 35 feet long,this twin seater humungus chick magnet,with its two tiny perspex fighter jet style windsreen viewing bubbles,cleverly designed to look like the end of two used condoms,to keep the cars sleek illusion of its penis shape,is a steal at 63 thousand quid.I test drove the Alpha Maleao around the streets of Soho,and just couldnt believe the sense of sheer sexual excitment I got from it,just sitting in this giant pink cock at the traffic lights in Brewer street,the V12 engine making me and the whole car shudder and vibrate,was a sexual experiance like no other,thank god I was wearing the Alpha Maleao rubber pants that cum with every car,they were certainly needed I can tell you.Compared to the outside the inside of the cockpit is very dull and basic thow,with only a garish speedo clock,with the clock hand in the shape of a erect orange day glow penis,and much needed thow basic large tissue holder.Gearstick or gearcock as its described in the Alphas manual,and handbrake are, yes youve guessed it in the shape of massive cocks.Some critics have said its basically just a big boys sex toy,others describe it as the flying dildo,or just a large cheap vibrator for dickheads,not so my friends,this is the furture of motoring.
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Top Smear
(12 posts) (9 voices)
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Martin Shuttlecock
offlineMember"This is the furture of motoring"
What?
Hairy cars?
Good grief man! Have you taken leave of your senses?
Shuttlecock*
*Or as described elsewhere "Sucklecock."
Posted 8 months ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberNope, not enough 'literallys', 'powers' and,
long pauses.Posted 8 months ago # -
waylandsmithy
offlineMemberI know a lot of people don't like Clarkson, but it's fair to say he's a really entertaining writer. Pretty funny, well-structured, and always adds a twist. Praise where it's due, surely...
Oh, you meant this Klarkson. Yeah, sorry. Completely shit.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Martin Shuttlecock
offlineMemberI'd just like to make it perfectly clear that this post had absolutely nothing to do with me, nor with anyone with whom I may have a connection, no matter how tenuous.
But if you ask me, it's a wind up. And not very well executed at that.
Posted 8 months ago #
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