Reports emerging from the Strand appear to be suggesting that the 'Coal Hole In The Wall Gang' - a crowd of slathering, mewling, puking, folding itinerant internet trolls, are not in fact dead, but merely 'resting.'
"They're out there somewhere, I can feel it in me water," reported Canadian cyber-warrior and humourist non pareil, Anne Marie Morse, who writes under the screen name of 'Christabel McWattanus' for possibly the funniest, most interesting site on the net. "They're rather like haemorrhoids. I thought we had them licked, but they don't ever seem to know that they're actually dead. They just withdraw, regroup, and come back twice as witty, charming and unpredictable as ever. It does my head in. Nobody is safe as long as this slathering mob of fornicating miscreants puke their way around the internet, causing mayhem wherever they go. Who knows where they'll turn up next? I'm scared."
With good reason, apparently.
The World Health Organisation blamed the Coal Hole In The Wall Gang for countless instances of sleepless nights, a multitude of backstabbings, harrassed bar staff, and young women developing a fear of wearing low cut tops in pubs for fear of unbridled lechery. And that's before they even begin tapping their keyboards in drunken fanatical 12 on 1 cyber bullying episodes at three am after the pubs have closed.
A spokesman for the Coal Hole In The Wall Gang dismissed the 'dead' rumours as 'sheer speculation and utter bollocks.' Going on to say that the Coal Hole In The Wall Gang are still very much alive and kicking, and probably coming to a pub or a website near you in the near future.
Be afraid. Be very afraid...
