It has been revealed that Italian scientists discovered a cure for Tourette's Syndrome in 1973, but were persuaded by the Vatican to suppress the research.
"It's an ethical dilemma", said Monsignor Petrocelli of the Vatican's Amusing Diseases Committee. "Curing the disease would transform the lives of a few, whereas watching people swearing randomly at strangers gives everybody else a good laugh. I love it when they shout out "Bollocks!" in Mass. Really livens up an otherwise dull ceremony.
Tourette's Syndrome isn't the only medical advance to have been suppressed. "We've been sitting on a cure for flatulence for centuries, and the Brummie accent could have been cured years ago. And who hasn't enjoyed pointing at dwarves in the street? Quite unnecessary - we only keep them because they're so funny, with their tiny little legs and their funny faces"