Many congratulations to antharrison who scoops the August Writer of the Month award for his story ‘Sunderland’s female teenage nightclubbers slate Olympic women’s boxing’. This was NewsBiscuit’s most-read story last month, scoring a points victory over its competitors and securing its author a place in the gold medal bout against much-fancied Kylie, 17, from Middlesbrough, a graduate of Teesside University’s Advanced Urban Pugilism course and known by lads and lasses alike as being ‘a bit handy’. Before entering the ring Ant will be presented with his prize, a six-and-a-half-ounce NewsBiscuit mug, as part of a traditional Geordie ceremony known as ‘tooling up’.
Those who could have been contenders in August but for their glass jaws were Gary Stanton (treason and decency charges pending) for ‘Prince Philip urged to refrain from anal’, perpetual silver medallist waylandsmithy for ‘Team GB urged to be more triumphal over emphatic thrashing of French’, Goatboy for his archive story ‘US tells suicide bombers: ‘Those 72 virgins are all guys’, and Vertically Challenged Giant for ‘Restoration amateur ruins UK economy’. All can take a turn at rinsing out Ant’s gumshield between rounds and dispensing advice such as ‘leave her, she’s not worth it’.
Thanks to all for contributing to NewsBiscuit during the Olympic month - you have left an enduring legacy. Finally we can all now return to watching some proper sport with the eagerly-anticipated start of the party conference season…
