In the wake of the frankly rather silly American electioneering stunt which saw Clint Eastwood indulging in nonsensical, and rambling conversation with an empty chair, US State Officials in Washington DC have issued an advisory to the UK to be on the lookout for a Titanic proportioned raft of cornball and witless supposedly satirical comments from USA based writers of alleged satirical content based on said incident.
"It's regrettable," a White House Official related. "But by the same token, it's inevitable. You guys got smacked repeatedly over the head with the Weiner's weiner stuff, and you got bored into a comatose state by stories about Obama's birth certificate, then you had all that Robert Pattinson/Kristen Stewart Twilight BS - so we're just issuing an advisory to you Brits to avoid another ten year long story relating how hysterically funny it was that a clapped out actor talked to a chair for a while. It may well have made the NRA and the KKK's day for a while, but in all honesty, you guys don't need that shit. This is just a 'Heads Up.'"
Speaking on behalf of the British Association of Satirists, from his front room in deepest Titchfield, self appointed spokesman, Martin Shuttlecock, who allegedly only ever speaks for himself, stated that the vast majority of British satirists appeared to have heeded the warning.
"Quite frankly," Shuttlecock stated. "It's a bit of a non-story. Like them you get on the Male online, so I doubt very much that any of our membership would go near it with a bargepole. In the States, it may well be the funniest event in decades, but quite frankly it doesn't cut the mustard in our house. To be blunt , I wouldn't give it f*****g houseroom as a subject for a satirical article. But as I don't do satire anyway, I suppose that's a moot point. Thing is, there's a limit to where you can go with a crap empty chair joke, featiring a bloke who'd probably experience serious difficulty in holding up a .44 Magnum without almost wetting his pants. But hey, that's denial for ya. Have a nice day Y'all!"
Which nobody took a blind bit of notice of anyway, because Martin Shuttlecock is an idiot.
Who frequently talks to vacant chairs.
Back to the studio...