Tabloid editors have declared the British 2012 Silly Season the least silly since records began in 1665.
As summer 2012 draws to its close, with parliament reassembling and the kids going back to school, journalists are now asking what happened to our national talent for making idiots of ourselves during the summer holidays.
Alas 2012 saw no great act of heroism - like jobless 83 year old father of ten single-handedly disarms ex-Guantanamo Bay Olympic Games suicide bomber. No wannabe drama student who couldn't afford tuition fees streaking into Usain Bolt as he settled in his blocks for the start of the 100 metres. No ten year old little girl from Biggleswade who passed eight 'A' levels with A*s and is now off to study Mathematics at Cambridge. Not a single Norwegian parrot pining for the fjords. Not even a single silly old member of the House of Lords and part time banker to Her Majesty the Queen, who fell head over heels in love and married a multi-millionaire Greek ladyboy.
Why couldn't Ffion have been seen massaging sun cream onto William Hague's head whilst George Osborne sucked her toes on a nudist beach in downtown Scarborough? And where was the Ed Balls long-range telephoto of Ed Miliband this year - string vest, trousers rolled-up to his knees, his mouth and nose covered in ice-cream, whilst he spent a reckless afternoon chatting-up a topless undergraduate and telling her all about the life and times of Hugh Gaitskell?
Admittedly there were one or two very late attempts to be silly. A pussy cat masquerading as a starving lion. And a good effort from Prince Harry to save the day with his late August striptease. But even then, the stupid boy ruined what might have been the silliest photo of the century, by putting his hands in the way at the vital moment.
Also, a worthy ten minutes silliness from daft as a brush Paul McCartney, as he hopelessly failed to roll back the years at the opening ceremony of the Olympics. And Italy FC who managed to make our England footballers look excellently silly as they ran rings round them in Euro 2012.
But all in all, this was a disaster of a non-vintage Silly Season. Particularly since it started with such promise - even a hosepipe ban before summer had properly began.
We can only hope that David Cameron makes up for lost time with an inventive and very silly cabinet reshuffle. Something superbly silly - like Russell Brand as Minister of Overseas Beachwear Development & Foreign Affairs Without Portfolio.