Light entertainment veteran Lionel Blair must pay for the destruction and sorrow he has wrought upon the world according to the Archbishop Emeritus of Cape Town, the Most Reverend Archbishop Desmond Tutu writing in this Sunday's Observer.
The recognisable cleric unleashed an astonishing broadside against housewives' favourite Blair accusing him of 'crimes against humanity'. The claim is thought to be in reference to Blair's critically derided ITV series Great British Dog Walks.
The cause of the Archbishop's anti-Blair ire is unclear but, speaking on the condition of anonymity, fellow Give Us A Clue team captain Una Stubbs said that "Tutu always had it in for poor Lionel. We were in the BBC canteen once and Lionel was waiting to pay for a plate of lasagne. Tutu went past and simply tipped the plate out of his hands onto the floor. Then he just walked off laughing."
In 2006, the Archbishop Tutu's office were forced to deny his involvement in the kidnapping of Blair's pet dog Florence after rumours circulated that the prelate had enticed the cross-breed Collie into his Landrover and driven it round and round the M25 for eleven hours, only releasing the hound after becoming bored.
Pressure on the government to respond is likely to increase after a YouGov poll revealed 87% of people surveyed agreed with the statement 'Lionel Blair should be imprisoned for crimes against humanity'.