Sports fans are up in arms as tickets for the latest Olympics have been allocated unfairly once again. It emerged yesterday that 90 per cent of tickets have gone to the DSS, with the majority being shared among benefits fraud investigators.
"Some of these blokes have no interest in the games and spend most of their time filling out forms and talking into their dictaphones," said one fan. "It's as if they only came along to watch one person and once they're done, they pack up their surveillance and go home. What's that all about?"
Many of the ticket snafflers from the government have been accused of being Piers Morgan types - corporate box hoggers who have no interest in the sporting events they attend other than to stitch up the participants.
Britain's Olympic have been plagued by ticketing fiascos, one fan fumed: "You wait 50 years for an Olympics, then two come along together, and they're both full."