In a speech at the Republican party’s national convention, US Presidential candidate Mitt Romney has promised the American people he would invade at least one oil-rich country during his first term in office and would seriously consider taking out a few non-aligned heads of state from other countries for good measure too.
Romney voiced his concern that there were still too many nations hostile to America’s overseas ambitions and that regime change in several Middle East countries such as Belgium and the Central Africa Republic could not be ruled out as part of any future Republican foreign policy.
The move, seen as a Republican vote winner by senior party activists saw a surge in popularity for the former governor of Massachusetts with over 57% of Americans saying they would almost certainly vote for a President who intended declaring war on a smaller, relatively defenceless Muslim nation.
Some senior Republican advisers have warned that the American people have tired of the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and would like to see some new, more challenging conflicts given a chance before congess convenes – or at the very least before the new Major League world series begins in April of next year’.
CNN have also warned the Republicans they had seen a marked decrease in Americans tuning in to watch the conflicts on TV in recent months with many cable subscribers now turning to gaming videos such as Call of Duty and Modern Warfare 3 for an update on how the war on terrorism is being won.
A CNN spokesman said the Republicans could learn a thing or two about the ratings war from Al-Jazeera who regularly pull in an audience in excess of 50 million viewers for their big ticket spectaculars such as Taliban beheadings and the torture of kidnapped aid-workers.
Romney said that by slashing the nations increasingly unpopular welfare budget and building up the military,the Republican tax dollar would at last be put to good use and not frittered away on ‘crutching up those work-shy commie Democrats’
Romney added that starting a new war would have a huge impact on jobs and would help keep fellow Americans such as Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg in work for years.
‘OK...so these guys usually win the wars single-handed but even they need back-up now and again....scriptwriters, stunt doubles, make- up artists, costume designers, dialogue editors.....no, maybe not the dialogue editors, that’s just me being silly...but loads of other movie guys too’.
Veteran Hollywood actor Clint Eastwood happily endorsed the presidential hopeful but was later caught on camera losing a heated debate with an empty office chair although the Dirty Harry star insisted he was actually sharing a joke with his close friend Harvey, a six foot Republican candidate from Loonville, Tennesse at the time.
The event ended with the entire Romney family - his wife, five sons and their wives and most of his 18 grandchildren pledging once again to evade paying their share of the tax burden while at the same time promising to end unemployment.
While many critics argued that tackling unemployment would be the most challenging task ahead for whoever wins the presidency, they all agreed that with people like Eastwood and the Bush brothers on board it was clearly ‘happy days’ for the psychiatric and nursing fraternity if the Republicans won out.
‘Just take Mr. Eastwood for example....three nurses to hold him down, one to sedate him and two to change his diapers....that’s six people before we even get him back to his padded cell at the carehome.
Mr.Romney had over 10 million supporters during the primaries....that’s one helluva lotta nurses we're gonna need’.
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'Empty chair has potential to become next US President’ insists Eastwood
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Gerontius
offlineMemberPosted 8 months ago #
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