“I’m fucking fed up with these tory right wingers scuppering every agreed policy. We have to vote for all their policies, but they never vote for any of ours. Having said that, I quite like my office with its oak panelling and I am quite happy waffling on endlessly and apparently emotionally in a ham actor way about nothing in particular with my dyed hair. Lib Dem voters know what they are getting when they vote for me; a chap who has brought sitting on the fence to a high art.”
Unemployment Minister Chris Grayling said: ”there is a job going re-arranging chocolate teapots Nick might be suited for.”