A middle aged Carshalton couple had the surprise of their lives yesterday when they discovered one of the lost wonders of the ancient world under their sofa: a legendary troupe of early musicians known as the Rolling Stones.
Sharon Sanders, 47, said early reports that a medieval shaft had been discovered were inaccurate. ‘It was only the singer trying to draw attention to his manhood,’ she said.
Husband Peter, 46, said that they had inherited the battered Chesterfield when they bought the house ten years ago. ‘The seller said it was originally part of a set which included a leather rocker but we just assumed it had been thrown away. I think we’ve solved the mystery now. He answers to the name of Keith.’
Peter said that although the band were in reasonable condition considering their age, they were getting a bit fragile and crumbly. ‘They’re talking about re-forming for one last anniversary gig but I’d say the chances of reassembling them in working order are no better than fifty-fifty.’
The discovery has settled a long running argument about whether there was anything deep under the sofa. Despite the discovery of a few new sets of lyrics for a planned album, the answer remains a firm ‘no.’
Sharon says the band have been no trouble at all and make very little noise. ‘The singer gave me a bit of a shock when he said, “Let’s spend the night together,” but then he said he only meant “gimme shelter” and just wanted to lie on the sofa. I gave him a cup of cocoa with brown sugar and one of my mother’s little helpers, and now wild horses wouldn’t wake him up.