Apple has been left "completely flummoxed" by the announcement from Microsoft of Windows 8.
"We had no idea they would bring anything out to follow Windows 7", confessed Timothy Cook, CEO of the world's largest company. "To be honest, we're scratching about here wondering what to do. Windows 7 was pretty good, hell, we knew that. But we all thought, you know, that's that. Those guys, they've thrown everything they have at us. Well, look at us now with egg all over our faces and down our new denim jeans. You can be sure some us here are feeling pretty sheepish."