Following a tip-off, police managed to prevent an orgy of violence between two vicious gangs of computer geeks in a London office last night, arresting twelve men. It is believed that all those detained were employees of the software design consultancy where the police raid took place. Amongst those arrested were ringleaders Karl Marvin and Steve Morley, the company’s Head of IT and Chief Software Scientist respectively. The police decided to act when they heard that Marvin had threatened to blow Morley’s head off with a shotgun in mortal combat that night.
A Metropolitan Police spokesman reported, “A number of single young men, all of whom were high on a deadly cocktail of Pot Noodle and Red Bull, appeared to be preparing themselves for a pitched battle when we intervened. Although we didn’t actually find any physical weapons, the two rival gang leaders confessed that they had been looking forward to a night of bloodshed and carnage. It appears we arrived just in time.”
Head of Marketing Marcus King expressed his relief that no-one had been hurt. “I’d organised a pub team-building session for the whole firm but Karl and Steve said that they had already planned a night’s entertainment for their staff. They tried to explain about a LAN party but it all seemed a bit saddo to me. But then they spoke of assassinating soldiers of fortune, by which I think they meant our sub-contractors. And when Steve said he would deal decisively with the resident evil, I assumed he meant Karl. I got scared and called the police, and I’m so glad I did.”
No actual real-life friends of the arrested have come forward to offer support but hundreds of their Facebook friends and Twitter followers have launched an on-line campaign on their behalf. The campaign claims that the twelve men were ‘only playing’ at being violent psychopaths, developing their imaginary war craft against a variety of opponents which until recently, included Iranian citizens.
The police are not convinced however. “They may look a bit drippy but these geeks don’t fit into normal society and have a violent streak,” explained the police spokeman, “One of them even admitted that they quite often go on wild killing sprees as a group in their own mad world.”