In a very frank interview, Mitt Romney has professed to being baffled by the art of politics.
“It wasn’t like this in Massachusetts, I can tell you” explained the presidential candidate. “I just said and did whatever would get me elected.“
Mr Romney professed to being confused. “I thought that I was about to be nominated by the Republicans but I think I must be wrong. Representative Akin for example just did his very best to prevent me being elected and he says he’s a Republican. So perhaps I’m running on the Democratic ticket. It’s very confusing. It didn’t seem to matter before.”
After a brief pause for a Mormon cult ritual, Mr Romney continued, “That nice Mr Obama keeps attacking all these lunatics that keep slipping right-wing rants into my speeches. So perhaps he’d like to be my Vice President. Vice Presidents don’t need birth-certificates... uhoh... see, there’s another entirely inappropriate line that some bastard just slipped into my interview notes.”