In a controversial plan to reduce unemployment, the government is reclassifying any 16 year old who scores below grade C GCSEs as house-elves. Critics have attacked the plan as "slavery by the backdoor". Education secretary Michael Gove has denied the claims; "It's slavery by the front door; the key is that house-elves want to be enslaved, so it's a win-win situation."
When asked if the lowered GCSE scores were related with his recent increase of personal staff from none to 28,000. Mr Gove said; "That's completely erroneous, it's more like 29,000"