An internet user called ‘longandhard69’ is the greatest person to have ever lived, he has revealed.
The list of his accomplishments is enough to make Dale Winton feel like he has wasted his life, and that he achieved so much despite spending 18 hours online make it all the more impressive.
Tales of longandhard69 first appeared on the web five years ago when successfully took film director Sam Raimi to task over his handling of Spider-Man 3. Raimi said, ‘Over the course of a year he dissected every aspect of the movie, explaining that he would have made a much better film if the studio wasn’t so afraid of the truth he would lay down.’
It was at this stage this wondrous man let us in on all his magnificent achievements. Revealing that he was a self-made millionaire and could kick any of our asses, he has had threesomes with super models and broken multiple athletic world records, but refused the fanfare that would invariably come with it being reported.
A fellow poster stated, ‘I’ve never met anyone like him before. He has said that he could fix the economic turn down instantly if only the politicians would listen to him, ut they don’t understand his genius.’
Longhard69 refused to be interviewed for this article, or photographed, or reveal his name, or business, or location and when we told him we could track him he shut his account down. He has dropped of the grind completely. So all that and humble too. Where ever he is we must assume that he is working to make our lives a little better. I for one will be sleeping easier knowing he is here to watch over us.