Following the outstanding success of Yorkshire-born athletes in the London 2012 Olympics, Team GB sport scientists have announced a new dietary regime for Brazil 2016.
UK athletes will be recommended a diet rich in traditional regional fare, including Yorkshire puddings with roast beef, Tetley bitter and Christmas cake with cheese on the top. Yorkshire tea will be optional.
Self-styled professional Yorkshiremen including Geoff Boycott, Dickie Bird and Michael Parkinson will be appointed team coaches.
Track sessions will take place on the foothills around Holmsfirth, the setting for Last of the Summer Wine and Goathland, the backdrop for Heartbeat.
Sportsmen will be required to wear Jimmy Saville-style track suits with optional flat caps.
Whippet racing and pigeon fancying have been requested as new Olympic sports, with a strong showing expected for Britain, if accepted.
However, the whole initiative has been opposed by the People’s Republic of South Yorkshire. Their spokesperson, a Mr A Scargill has lobbied for Yorkshire to break away from the rest of Britain and compete in the Olympics in its own right.