George Slanders 89 has been attacked for the secound time in two months on Eastbourne beach,George recently released from a short stay in Rampton mental hospital had this to say.Its disgusting,I despair at the things that go on in this once peacefull seaside town, nowdays it seems to be full of nutcases.There I was strolling along the beach enjoying my 99 when from behind I was hit by a large wave,causing me to fall and be seperated from my half eaten 99,I couldnt fight back,there was to many of them,smaller waves,all over me,a gang,constantly hitting me.The only thing that saved me was that I remembered a Ray Mears documentry,if chased by a charging rhino play dead,I did they left,last I saw was of my 99 was it floating about a quater of a mile out on a crest of a wave.Now I know why the call it the cruel sea,same thing happened to a pensioner in Clacton so I believe about a year ago.
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Lifelong Eastbourne resident
(7 posts) (3 voices)
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Posted 10 months ago #
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Spelling and punctuation a bit rough but a pretty funny idea.
Have no idea what a 99 is though ...
Posted 10 months ago # -
Yes terriball spelling,also they werent your ordinary type waves,they were microwaves,you no what fleas do when their waving other fleas goodbye,by the way your not my old English teacher are you?Mr Turns,used to keep getting up through class and vanishing into the stock cupboard for a few minutes,nobody knew what he did in there.Years later when the school was being knocked down they found thousands of emtey whisky bottles in a false wall at the back of the cupboard.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Is that you, Joan?
Posted 10 months ago # -
ps,a 99 is like a 69 but its more hygienic.
Posted 10 months ago # -
no its not me,Im not allowed into the holy domain of newsbiscuit anymore,due to not being a good enough sppeler.........and Ive been a naughty boy ha ha.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Ive been feeling deflated and depressed and reduced to living in a the boot of a abandoned car near Hampstead heath of late,due to cuts in pension rate and the high cost of living,thats why Ive changed my name,that and Im thinking of becoming a busking 87 year old rapper.........but not to worry,all is not lost,I feel so gratefull being part off the BIG society,if it hadnt been for David Cameron Id proberly have ended it all long ago,Ive a picture of him in my boot,which I pray to every morning,and another of Jeremy Kyle.............in my shoe.Soon Ill have enough money to buy the other shoe and boot,then Ill have a proper matching pair,then hopfully people will take me more seriously.
Posted 10 months ago #
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