Actor Julian Assange has declared himself “pleased, but not surprised”, on becoming only the second man in history to have been saluted for indefatigability by the prestigious “Institute Du Sleep Monitoring de Galloway” for his portrayal of “Jonny Head O’Steam”, Australian antagonist of “Bis Dans Un Nuit", the low budget arthouse film set in Stockholm’s edgy left-wing-groupie quarter.
‘Ordinary folk have no idea how hard it is to keep up a consistant performance across five hours, especially when shooting in the dark’ declared George Galloway, the institute’s founder. ‘As a showman, I can tell you once I’ve used up my artistic fuel rod it’s hours before the creative juices are flowing again. My award scheme is a way of saying “RESPECT, caps off!” to anyone who can stay the distance and keep banging away for the cause, even if their co-stars have collapsed by the pillowside - or their scientists have failed to synthesis enough nerve toxin to continue eradicating troublesome civilian populations.’
‘I always expected to win this award one day” declared Assange, ‘and I suppose I should thank my backers. My enemies may call me a fucking liberal, but after so long tossing radical ideas backwards and forwards, I consider it an honour that my friends call me the world’s biggest tosser.’