Statistics produced by Camelot show that fat couples in council houses are more likely to win the lottery, leading to speculation that the National Lottery is weighted towards the overweight.
"It's often quite difficult to get the publicity pictures," admitted Camelot head of PR Mike Newby. "Tiny houses, enormous cheques, fat, dazed looking couples and jereboams of champagne - it's a logistical nightmare. All too often we have to make do with photographing them in their garden, or in some cases the local park."
But one senior treasury minister said the figures about fat people getting lucky bear out government strategy on revenue raising. "If stupid fat poor people are over-represented as lottery winners then our plan works. It proves that the lottery is a great way to make the lower orders pay what is basically a voluntary tax. The trouble is, the more these huge chavs are seen winning huge sums, the more obvious the ruse becomes. Which is why we're urging Camelot to come up with some thin posh looking winners."
