"Its no laughing matter" explained Mr Al Qaeda, a third generation Bradford Muslim "I had a little newsagents, Al Qaeda News, and it was constantly in the press, fire-bombed, and customers driven away, scared by the National news headlines about some Saudi bloke. I was born in Pontefract! I support Leeds for gods sake, why me?
I had to get rid of the newsagents as my mental health couldnt take it, so I took up a skip hire service instead. I saw a gap in the market where older people who had full wheelie bins needed a service to fill in for the council and their 2 week collection policy. Again, all hell broke loose over my advert "Bin Laden? Ring Al Qaeda...."
Had to go into hiding, and after a lot of plastic surgery, and being mistaken for Michael and Latoya Jackson Ive decided to tell my story to The Daily Mail. Im sure they wont make a song and dance about my life..."