Following the latest national outcry over the suspected murder of Tia Sharp, the Home Secretary Theresa May has announced that the judicial process for all such cases is to be outsourced to the frighteningly vocal online coven that is Mumsnet.
In a statement the Home Secretary announced that Mumsnet had beaten off stiff competition from the security firm G4S, and what really impressed the team from the Home Office was how Mumsnet was able to use social media to rapidly bring public opinion behind summary convictions and various forms of capital punishment.
However, not everyone is convinced that a gaggle of over-opinionated mothers in their early thirties are the right people to determine innocence or guilt in complex matters of law.
Brian Hawthorn, a man who admits he doesn't know all the facts and would rather wait and see what the courts decide as opposed to screaming for the death penalty, said: "It's terrifying. Every time one of these cases hits the news, every mother I know spews bile all over Facebook about how hanging is too good for someone yet to be convicted of an offence. I used to regard some of these people as quite intelligent."
I NEED A PUNCHLINE, CAN SOMEONE HELP ME OUT PLEASE?