The pathologist who wrongly diagnosed the cause of death of G20 protestor Ian Tomlinson as ‘dodgy ticker’ was an apprentice bricklayer who had forged his degree certificates, according to a disciplinary panel.
The panel claims Freddy Patel was a ‘serial fantasist’ with an obsessive need to practice pathology ever since watching a reissued boxset of fictional TV pathologist Quincy ME.
Experts also found that Patel was ‘liable to bring his profession into disrepute’ by suggesting that secondary causes of death were an ‘aggressive stance’ and ‘hypertension due to an attitude problem’.
Dr Patel, they claim, was also guilty of omitting key findings such as internal bleeding, ruptured internal organs and a large bruise consistent with being struck very hard in the abdomen by a baton.
Suspicions were raised as to Patel’s true profession when colleagues noticed that, rather than driving a Lexus, Patel would often turn up for work in a rusty white van containing a cement mixer, sandwiches and a spirit level.
Patel’s colleague Martin Williams ME said,
‘I thought it strange that he kept referring to me as “Sam” and expected me to work
very long hours, insisting ‘that’s how they do things in Japan isn’t it?’.
‘He was also extremely squeamish around bodies and would turn up in the morgue with a peg on his nose, demanding that we should ‘open all the windows.’
The panel blame insufficient background checks for the promotion of an individual whose knowledge of anatomy was limited to his dissection a rat during a fifth year biology class.
Dr Reginald Smithies of the General Medical Council added
‘Had Patel ever watched episode 5 (Series 2) of McCallum, starring John Hannah, he would have instantly known not to underestimate the advanced haemotoma evident on Mr Tomlinson’s liver’
‘Fair’s fair though - he did do a pretty mean job on my patio.’