Pupils at all UK schools could find themselves emulating their Olympic heroes if David Cameron gets his way. Chortling as he fended off criticism of his school sports policy, the Prime Minister shouted from his car window that from next term, all pupils would be required to complete "at least 6 hours of dressage and that sort of thing per week".
Government ministers have previously complained that school sports under Labour became too politically correct and noncompetitive. Sources say that sports day at one north London school had dispensed with start/finish lines all together and banned egg and spoon races for fear of upsetting vegan pupils.
A number 10 spokesman said "Of course your have these inner city, lefty hand wringing liberal Steiner comps encouraging their precious Jonnys and Jemimas to do ghastly foreign activities like Indian dancing or French. We want to ensure that the next generation of Jessica Enniss and Michael Farrahs have the opportunity to be the best at truly British sports. That's why we'll be bringing in compulsory dressage and encouraging the girls to fight."
Horse and bridle stocks rose by 78% after the Prime Minister's announcement.
