Thought you might like to know, Mr Ramblesid the consequences of your actions in blaming bonjonelson for the invented death of some nutter who rashly posted toss on here a while back.
I must admit that I initially thought bonjonelson (father apparently unknown) was a bit of a git, coming on here and getting lots of front pages, but soon afterwards I felt guilty about it, and we've now been in a same-sex marriage for three years.
I won't trouble you with the details of his childhood struggling as a poor Russian peasant boy living on gravel, or his near lifelong obsession with breathing, which sadly ended yesterday when, overcome with remorse for his treatment of kaazzzzyyytkk, he tragically ate himself to death.
I know he was acutely embarrassed by his enormous knees, which is why I'm bringing it up here, as I think everyone should know how he felt. I told him, every three minutes, not to read NewsBiscuit, but I could always tell when he had, by checking my lucky seaweed for dampness.
His only father (daughter apparently unknown) emailed me quite by chance this morning, having guessed my email address from the billions of possibilities. He told me bonjo was found, knee in hand, slumped in front of the NewsBiscuit "Advice for young writers" page.
I'm sure your every mention of his cruel role in poking mentals with sticks will bring a strangely raffish smile to your boyish yet somehow knowing lips, so please continue to enjoy.