After criticising Sir Bradley Wiggins for not singing the national anthem during his medal ceremony, Piers Morgan has now claimed that athletes failing to mumble along to God Save the Queen is a far bigger scandal than tabloids hacking into the voicemails of murdered schoolchildren.
‘People made a big fuss about a few newspapers routinely breaking the law, but athletes not singing is a far greater problem and is just being ignored, it’s an absolute disgrace. These people should be proud to have been selected to represent Britain and should show some respect for our monarch.’ said Morgan, ‘If there was an Olympic event for being smarmy and irritating then I would be honoured to compete for my country and would belt out the national anthem with my most annoying smirk on my face, after I inevitably won gold.’
Newly converted fans of Lord Bradley Wiggins have been quick to jump to the cyclist’s defence, ‘Once Piers Morgan has done something worthwhile, like ride a bike really fast over a long distance, or run round and round a track or something, then he can criticise one of our greatest ever Olympians of all time, ever. Of all time.’ said one fan, while stroking his newly acquired stick-on sideburns.
Piers Morgan, bizarrely, has expressed surprise at the backlash he has faced over his criticism of His Royal Highness Bradley Wiggins, ‘I really thought people would be on my side over this rather than that of a newly crowned national hero. Did you know that I’m quite popular in the U.S? No, I’ve no idea why either.’